KEIKO KOMA net

9 June  2009

Getting over myself

It was already ten o’clock in the evening, however, it did not become dark. Outside the hotel, there were many noises and loud sounds as today was a festival day. For some reason I found myself nervous. I envisioned my internality and I was about to  transform myself. Obviously there would be a big change in my life. I walked down to the museum and it took us only several minutes though yesterday we had to drive almost twenty minutes by car to get there. I have found out that it was located just behind the hotel room where I had stayed in March last year when everywhere had been covered by heavy snow. But now in spring, there were beautiful trees and many lovely flowers that I had not expected to see. In general, I love museum and ancient art pieces as they resemble my mind-scape art works. And the Russian museum in St. Petersburg impressed me very much. The architecture itself was gigantic with doors with sculptures over five meters in height. Many paintings were also very large and dynamic corresponding to the massive Russian landscape. Every wall and ceiling was painted in elegant ways and wooden tables, chairs and ornaments were wonderful. At a Café we enjoyed live music of a classical harp. I really loved everything here. Meanwhile, as soon as we started meeting about our concert projects I started to become nervous. I came to acknowledge that I have been nervous about how I could finance all of them as every project was extremely precious. When I was not certain about how I could do so, my body became rigid. However when I was motivated to face challenges and overcome them in a creative manner I became relaxed and vigorous. Because money was deeply associated with the life of people it could destroy one’s precious life if one became a slave to it at the risk of one’s blood. I recalled that a picture I saw at the Russian museum expressed the last day of the world and people were shedding tears of blood. I thought when humankind was controlled by apocalyptic ideas or the existence of patterns in history, there would be no way to break through accumulating problems of the actual world. One had to awaken to the new potential residing within each person’s internality. When one was true to one’s internality, one could open up the future of our world. In this respect I was extremely grateful to be provided with a precious opportunity to organize our concerts globally this year. My concern completely disappeared and I was filled with energy to move ahead.  .