KEIKO KOMA net

3rd Aug 2008

Expressing oneself

Today Mr. Idaki shin gave a lecture on ontology, and talked about alienation. At first I was concerned about social and outer factors that oppressed human nature. But as the lecture went on I felt that my sensitivity became directed towards the core of my life. By the end of the lecture, a new energy was born within me and encouraged me to be active for opening up the future. I realized the key to break through alienation was always to express one’s deepest wishes. After I started to give my poetic performances, such as the Messages of Mother Earth and Legends of Koguryo Rediscovered concert, I came to realize how vividly I could understand from the stage every spectator’s state of mind. Only people who express themselves understand the heart of a performer on stage. Mr. Idaki Shin’s concerts and lectures always show me the way to overcome obstacles. Though I had huge assignments I could finish all of them. I expected my staff to share the same wishes and feelings as I but even though they dedicated themselves to help me, if their way of life was different from mine they ended up by bothering my work contrary to their intention. Sometimes one’s goal recedes when one tries to reach it as being conscious is far from realizing something. I touched my heart and felt the sadness of human history. Then I came to understand that to live an autonomous life was the answer to overcome this miserable mechanism. I acknowledge the meaning of the Idaki Shin counseling courses that liberate participants from negative influences inherited from past history and allow them to create their own future. 
At night I woke up all of a sudden and acknowledged that I have been caring too much about my lineage fromthe royal family of Koguryo. From childhood my father told me to be proud of being a direct descendent of the Koguryo royal family. My mind was perpetuated by its long and sad history. However, Mr. Idaki Shin advised me that when I truly realized the sadness of my ancestors, then everything in the past would give birth to love. The moment when he said smilingly that his life was pleasant because his family had no historic background, I felt genuine freedom. His life was even free from the eternal world. This is the source of his marvelous piano improvisation. Numerous souls of people who shed tears together with me were still crying out of sadness in past history and of joy to be resurrected as well.